Who Said You Can't Have Everything?
by anyfoolcanknow
Summary: A Charles and Liza moment. Please forgive my writing I haven't done any since I dropped out of English in year 10. I'm just doing this because I kept imagining how I wanted to episodes to end.
1. Chapter 1

We stood there staring at each other. Just staring both of us not believing what he had just said. The words 'Who isn't me' on repeat going through my head.

As soon as I could I turned and rushed to my desk sitting down still unsure as to what just happened.

'Liza' Diana barked as she strut into her office. 'I need you to go get me a salad for lunch, I have a meeting at 2.'

'Sure, form any where in particular?'

'Use your brain, figure it out' she hissed.

Grabbing my purse and jacket I headed for the lift still in a daze. Feeling light headed after that heated argument with Charles and not having eaten anything, I was starting to feel a little faint.

As the lift doors started to close a hand stopped them and pushed in. Charles looking flustered moved to the back of the lift. 32 flights of tension with 6 others oblivious to the stress that I felt was oozing out of me. 15 flights I had decided to just make a run for it well maybe not run just a power walk but to just ignore it, ignore him, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10 I just feel more and more light headed it was almost as if the elevator was spinning to heart pounding, hands sweating. 9, 8, 7, 6, 5 then a light touch on my back it was like electric shock had ran through me and a small deep voice in my ear said 'please don't run'. 4,3,That was it there was a wave of heat and my head spun 'oh no' I said and then blackness.

Becoming slightly lusid i could feel someone was carrying me. Looking up to see two beautiful blue eyes with brows full of worry staring straight into her face. 'Liza are you okay?' He asked his voice filled with concern.

Realising what had just happened I felt a wave of embarrassment and then blackness fell over me again.

'Liza, Liza can you hear me.' That same worried voice beckoning me to respond.

Coming back to terms with where I was I could feel a cold stone floor beneath my body with my head resting on something soft. Slowly opening my eyes I could see his concerned face patiently waiting. 'Are you okay?' He said again kneeling next to me.

'I'm fine, what's happening?' I finally responded.

'You fainted in the lift, I caught you. I carried you out you woke up and then fainted again.' He explained with a light twinkle to his eye. 'Are you feeling okay, do you feel sick?' His worry re entering his voice.

'I'm fine, I just have low blood pressure and have had a stressful day. Also I haven't eaten that wouldn't help.' I responded brushing him off and trying to sit up his had on my shoulder preventing me from doing so.

'Easy, easy'

'Seriously, I'm fine' he relenting his hand and helping to sit up. Looking down I see that he had taken his suit jacket off and propped it under my head. I picked it up passing it to him to put back on. Shrugging back into it he didn't take his eyes off me for a second. Still with that worried little frown on his head. I lifted my hand to smooth it before I could even realise what I was doing. 'I'm fine, I promise.' Before pulling my hand away quickly.

He laughed 'okay, you haven't eaten? Okay please let me take you for lunch, I need to explain myself.'

'Charles, that's not necessary and I have to get Dianna lunch. she has a meeting at 2.' I said anxiously know exactly what I would rather be doing. Figuring out what he meant by 'who isn't me'

'Please Liza, I can't just leave it like this. I'll call up and get Becky to pick it up from the restaurant.' He looked at me eyes begging. I just melt how could I say no, he looks like I feel.

'Okay' I relent. He sighs with a twitch of a smile on his lips.

He lead me off placing his hand on the small of my back my stomach dropped it's all I could do to not faint again. We head down the street to a small intimate Italian restaurant 'il Corso' near Central Park. The hostess greeted us and and directed us to a table near the front of the restaurant. 'Is this okay?' She asked automatically not expecting a no.

'Could we please have that table?' He asked pointing at the small booth in the corner of the room. Leading us over it the booth she handed is menus.

'Would you like some water?' She asked politely

'Yes please, just tap water will be fine.' I was parched from my multiple fainting sessions.

We sat and waited in silence and we both read the menu. Returning with the water she eyed us both trying to gage if we where ready to order before asking 'are you ready to order drinks? I can give you a few more minutes?'

Charles looked at me the first eye contact that we've had since sitting down. 'I'll have a beer, Peroni please' he asked politely looking at me to order.

'Could I please just have a Coke.' Thinking the sugar might help me get my thoughts together. As the waitress left to fetch us drinks Charles laughed. And I looked at him questioningly.

'You could have ordered a drink, in sure your boss wouldn't mind.' First smiling the a small frown crossed his face.

'I wasn't sure making myself any more light headed would be very smart right now.' I replied with a embarrassed smile.

As the waitress set down our drinks I realised I'd been reading the menu with out taking anything in so when she asked 'are you ready to order?' I had no clue. So I just picked the first thing I read. 'Spaghetti carbonara please, oh and a cob salad to go.'

'I'll have the same, minus the salad.' Charles said with a smile at the waitress. Once she was out of earshot he looked at me and once again our eyes met. I felt week, how can he do this to me with just his eyes. 'Liza, I am so sorry that I yelled at you earlier, it was very unprofessional of me and I have been trying so hard to keep things professional with you lately.' Looking down and taking a large drink of his beer before continuing. 'Also I want you to know If your in a relationship with Jay that's perfectly fine. There is no hard feelings, I just want you to be happy.' He struggled to look at me as he talked but finally making eye contact again. 'I'm sorry I said what I did.'

'So it's not true? You didnt meant?' I said almost inaudibly.

'What do you mean?' Questioning me

'Never mind.' I said not wanting to repeat what he said to me.

'Liza I, I' he stuttered lost for words 'I thought I made it clear how I feel about you?'

'I thought I made it clear how I felt about you?' I said not making eye contact, I don't know how much more clear I could have made it, I kiss home when he said me he liked me and things are ended with josh. But he has been so professional it's almost cold over the past few weeks I assumed he'd moved on. Maybe gotten back with Rada. I take a long sip of my Coke and just wait for him to figure out what's next.

'I've tried to keep my distance and give you some time. It's all been so confusing. You're so young and...' he muttered 'but when I saw you with Jay I just... I was so jealous. I don't know if I've ever been so jealous in my life. I didn't know what to do all last night I was going over and over seeing you with him trying to figure out what you where doing. What I was doing and I could kick myself to not doing anything. Liza. I... my... I have such strong feelings for you. I don't know if I've ever connected with anyone like this before.' He declared.

'Charles, I have feelings for you. But.. there's is just so many things in our way..'

'Victims of unsynchronised passion' he quoted under his breath.

'Exactly' we sat there looking at each other.

'And Jay?' He asked clearly embarrassed that he was asking if she had feelings for another man.

'We met at bonfire, he has offered me a job running there own millennial geared imprint. I never called him back but I bumped into him the other night and when I told him that I wasn't interested in the job he asked me to grab dinner. So we did. I had no idea you would be there. I'm sorry if I upset you.' I rambled a little to quickly.

'No, please don't apologise Liza.' Be paused. 'Would..' he was interrupted by the waitress bringing our food.

'Thank you.' We both said at the same time.

Both sitting there in silence eating our food but all I can think about it what would be coming after that would. And should I just tell him. But I did promise Kelsey that I wouldn't say anything. On the other hand maybe I need to tell Kelsey that I have feelings for him feelings that are more than just attraction. Who knows.

Taking a break from his pasta he looks up ' I remember the first time I met you, it was in Diana's office and you tried to save her by feeding her the title of th second Achebe book.' He said chuckling 'it was so obvious but I was so expressed by you.'

'Yes Diana was defiantly not impressed.' I laugh reminiscing. He smiled at me returning to his food. After another long pause he looked up you could see he wanted to say something but he just didn't know how. 'And then there was that time that I bumped into you at that app launch party.'

'How could I forget those hot pants' he laughed his face turning red.

Finishing my meal I realised I haven't tasted my food at all. But feeling a lot better having something in my stomach. Looking at my phone I realised the time ahh crap there are also three messages from Dianna.. 'it's 1.15 I have to go Dianna is going to kill me' I stand up remember he said something about Becky he must have forgotten.

'Oh sorry I was meant to arrange Becky. You can tel Dianna I asked you to lunch.' He said with a puzzled look on his face obviously trying to figure out how that would work.

'It's okay, let's head back anyway.' I pick up her salad and head over the where the till is. 'Sorry we only realised the time we really have to leave.' I said to the waitress. Reaching into my purse for my wallet Charles touches my waist again

'Ive already paid.' says softly.

When did he do that 'Oh.. ahh. Thankyou.' I stammer in a fluster trying to get myself together after the small amount of contact we just had. We head to the door he still hast removed his hand. I suddenly stop remembering I had a jacket. He bumps straight into me I turn to him and look straight up. 'I forgot my jacket.' I whisper but before I knew it he had kissed me just a small light kiss. I could still feel his smile. Stopping I just freeze and let putt a deep heavy breath.

'You're not going to faint on me again are you?' He say slightly smug sound to his tone. Turning away slightly shaken I grab my jacket off the back of the chair and walks back to him. He hasn't taken his eyes off me and being the gentleman me he is holding the door open before once again placing the hand on the small of my back. I shiver and to disguise the shiver as cold I start to shrug on my jacked witch was proving difficult while holding diannas salad. Taking the salad from my hand Charles helps me into the jacket with a slight chuckle, straightening the collar he doesn't remove his hand he looked into my eyes and slowly moved his hand up to my jaw. I'm torn both willing him to kiss me and knowing it's only going to make things more complicated. But I close the gap and kiss him.


	2. Chapter 2

I pulled away flushed and scattered. 'I really have to go.' And before I know I was walking, almost running away.

'Liza slow down, we'll get a taxi.' He had caught up to me and grabbed my arm leading me over to the sidewalk and hailing a cab. Opening the door for me and beckoning me in before him, As he walked around to the other side I just tried to collect myself for the hundredth time today. Getting in and looking straight into my eyes he asked 'please let me take you out tonight, we have so many things more to discuss.'

Taking only a few seconds to debate weather this was a good idea or not I finally said 'I don't know Charles.' Well that was useful...

'Liza you can't just kiss me like that and we not do any thing about it.' He pleaded.

'It was just a kiss.' Before I knew it the words where out, his own words after the first kiss.

'It was never just a kiss Liza, your all I've thought about since we first met. I just... sometimes shut down when I get emotional and scared.' He paused. 'When you didn't meet me at the Carlelile, I told myself I had to pretend it didn't mean anything. But we'll it did, and when you thought you needed to explain yourself, I just got defensive... Why didn't you come?'

Hesitating know the reason to didn't show was actually seeing him talking to Roses parents a friend of my daughter Caitlin. But i sort of had the excuse of Kelsey needed me, she had only message just as i left the restaurant.

'You don't have to say if you don't want to. I understand.' He said sadly looking at his hands.

'No its.. I did come Charles.' I decided to tell him the second part of the night still evading the real reason and to why i didn't come meet him. He looked at me with surprise. 'I had just gotten to the restaurant when I got a urgent message from Kelsey she needed me, Thad had just died and I told her I would be there day or night.'

'Is that what you where trying to tell me. Ughhh and I shut you down the next morning.' He could even look at me he was so annoyed with himself. 'I'm sorry I was rude Liza, I wish I had just let you finish.'

'It's fine.' The cab pulled up to the curb and as I went to get out he grabbed my hand.

'Please dinner tonight?' He begged.

'Okay, I'll come talk to you before I leave tonight.' I promised. He smiled and I got out of the cab and made my way to the office preparing myself for the wrath of Dianna.

He followed me and as we both got in the elevator he gave me a knowing smile. I stood next to him this time hoping he could keep his hands to himself.

As I entered Diana's office she seemed relaxed even though it was 1.40pm. 'Liza, guess what!?' As I opened my mouth to speak she interrupted me. 'I've just been asked to interview for the New Yorker to talk about P is for Pigeon.' Snatching the salad out of Liza's hand and began to eat.

'That's great Dianna congratulations!' I said excitingly

'Now go and make sure everything's ready for my 2pm meeting.'

At my desk I sit down and focus on everything on my todo list making sure Diana's meeting room is all set up and stocked with refreshments. By the time I give myself a moment to breath it's already 6.15. Diana fluster past me on her way out 'goodnight Liza.' Looking around almost everyone has gone home. Kelsey left at 5 to meet for drinks with a aspiring author for millennial. So just me, I bite the bullet and head to Charles office. Pausing at the door about to knock the door opens.

'Liza, I was just coming to see if you'd left. It was getting late I thought you might have had second thoughts.' He said with a slight smile of delight.

'I was just about to knock.' Well like that wasn't obvious I reddened with embarrassment.

'Please come in.' He gestured towards the couch. I walk in sitting on the couch once again feeling slightly flustered. 'Drink?' He says while pouring himself a scotch.

'Sure.' Sitting there feeling so anxious. I should have spoken to Kelsey. Let her know how I really felt. 'Charles there's something I need to tell you.'

'Before you do please can I say something?' He asked without waiting for a answer he continued 'Liza I know you said before that there are just two many things in our way, and I know that they are all my issues. I get that I'm to old for you, I have 2 children and I'm your boss. So I understand that you might not feel the same what I do. And that's fine but I want you in my life, in whatever what you'll have me. Friend, colleges or something more. We can do what every this is on your terms.' He finished nervously waiting for an answer.

'Charles the only one of those things is a issue for me. You aren't the reason for the things in our way. I love your girls and your age doesn't bother me. But you are my boss.' I can't even look at him as I'm saying these things. He comes over and sits next to me on the couch. Lifting my head up from my chin so I'm looking at him.

'Liza you are the most amazing person I know.'

Standing up so he can't touch me I don't need to be distracted. 'You don't know me Charles that's my problem. I haven't been 100% honest with you.'

'I don't care Liza. Nothing can change how I feel about you.' He promised. Looking at her with such worry.

'How would you know. If I came out and said something crazy it might change your whole opinion of me.' I started passing back and forth across the office. He stood up and grabbed me on the top of my arms.

'Unless you're a murderer then I think I'll be able to forgive anything you tell me.' He said with a slight chuckle. Then he kissed me. Pausing slightly, I shouldn't be doing this... fuck it. He said he would forgive me. Throwing my self more into the kiss it was like he took it as a win. His hand moving down my waist my hands in his hair. I don't think I've ever wanted someone so much. And as that thought crossed my mind I pulled away.

'Charles, we can't do this.' I backed away from him up against the bookcase behind me. 'You deserve better. You have been through so much this past year. You deserve honesty.'

'Then tell me! Talk to me Liza I will do my best to understand!' He said with complete frustration in his voice.

'I can't.' I say with tears welling in my eyes threatening to fall over. 'It's so much bigger than me. It will ruin everything. I'm sorry Charles.' I speed out of the room and down the hall way stopping at my desk to grab my things. I make it to the lift stabbing the button furiously and the silent tears that treated earlier spill out and run furiously down my face. His hand is on mine stopping me before I brake the button.

'I'll let you go if you can honestly tell me you don't want this, that you don't want to be with me. You have no feelings for me.' He paused hoping for the answer he wanted.

'Charles please.' I pleased with him torn between my feelings and hurting him. The ping sounded as the lift arrived.

'No. Tell me Liza.' He demanded.

'I can't do that.' I whisper. The lift closed behind me.

'That's All I needed.' He whispered back. Both of us lunging for the kiss. Pressing me against the lift we kissed furiously. Weaving our fingers through each other's hair, exploring each other's body's. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. Carrying me back to his office we didn't part our lips once. Placing me on the couch on my back I pulled at his tie trying to loosen it with no luck he sits up pulling it off and looking at me with Carnel appreciation. I grab his shirt pulling myself up to kiss him and twisting myself onto his lap.

'Are you sure, I'm literally telling you I'm lying to you.' I say hoping he is sure.

'Liza, youre what I've wanted for months, I can explain how happy I am to hear you feel something for me. We all have seacrets and I trust you'll tell me when you're ready. Please don't let that get in the way of us.' Begging me to stay put.

I give him a peck and stand up. He sighs and his head drops looking at his lap. I walk over to the window behind his desk and close the blinds the noise makes him lift his head to see what's happening. I then move over to the door lean my back against it never loosing eye contact and press the lock on the door. His expression changes for disappointment to excitement. Seductively, well as much and I can awkwardly manage I start to walk towards him. He is looking so sexy with his shirt in buttoned and hair all over the place from me running my fingers through it. Before I get to him he has reached out and grabbed me pulling me on top of him. Both Laughing we both let go, just doing what we both seemed to have been denying ourselves for months. It feels so good just letting go and allowing myself to be with a man I have such a connection with.

Straddling him I finish unbuttoning his shirt, his hands exploring under my loose flowing top. Kissing down my neck it felt amazing like no one has ever kissed me before. I take his shirt off and the lifts up my top. His eyes scan up and down my body and before returning to my eyes. 'You're just so beautiful Liza.' He croons.

Stroking his chest I move my hands down to his pants undoing his top button. He doesn't resist. But I'm so nervous. I've never done anything like this before let alone with my boss. He feels my hesitation and kisses me with more passion like he is trying to I urge me on. His hands leave my neck and make there way down my back, down my legs before making there way back up under my skirt. Kissing down my neck to my chest I look up to the ceiling as he starts to kiss my breasts while his hands explore under my skirt. And that's it I'm lost I just go for it.


	3. Chapter 3

What feels like an hour later we just lay where on the floor behind the coffee table with my head on his chest. Literally the best I've ever had. He kisses my head both of us still breathless from the event that just happened. I look up into his eyes and he was already staring. 'That was amazing.' I smile at him.

'You can say that again.' A huge grin on his face. 'Thank you for no running away.'

'You're nothing but persistent.' He chuckles at me.

'You have been so distracting for me for months, I've had to do my best not to kiss you. It was so hard knowing you where with josh and you chose him over me.' He says sadly.

'Like i said before I did choose you. But it seems like your had moved on to... rada?' I question him.

'I wish I wasn't so proud and just let you explain..' he said shaking his head in annoyance. 'Rada was just a distraction, I was just trying to get over you. She always seemed to sense that I had feelings for you. I guess I couldn't stop staring I don't know. But when you where in hospital after the car accident I wanted to come and see you. We where meant to be having dinner with her friends she said if I came to see you we where over. And we'll you know what happened.'

'Vaguely, I only remember parts. I was feeling a bit out of it because of the morphine.' I explained trying to remember.

'Yes you where.' He smiled 'I was so worried I knew it was work related and I couldn't stand the thought that it was because of me you had been hurt.'

'That's silly, how could it have been!' I was shocked he could even think that. I'm the one that hit the back of the cab.

'You worked for me. I just felt somehow responsible... but your smiling face when I walked in the room just lit me up in a whole different way. You seemed so genuinely happy that I was there. And so quippy as usual. 'I may never shrug again'' he laughed at the memory.

Struggling to remember but his words bring back glimpses I remember his words the next morning piggies get some rest... mortified I start to remember.

'You held my had and said you where feeling better because I was there... it gave me such hope. I thought maybe there was a chance for us. You then asked me to put your piggies away.' He said chuckling. ' you also started to tell me something. But you fell asleep before you could.'

'I'm starting to remember. I think I accidentally told David what was starting to say to you... or at least that now his message makes sense.' The words poor out of my mouth before I could stop them. Being so close with him I just let my guard down.

'Who's David?' He said with a puzzled expressions. 'What did you say?'

Looking away for him I thought to myself I really have feelings for Charles, I can't keep on lying. With a sigh I continued 'I said something like 'that kiss ment something to me, maybe if we where different people in a different place things could be different.' He just looked at me waiting with a small smile. Standing up I started to get dressed. Just incase things don't end well after I've told him.

'What are you doing?' He said a frown returning to his face.

'I'm going to tell you everything. But I just don't know how you'll react and I want to be prepared. You might ask me to leave.' I said honestly.

'Oh okay. I don't think that's what will happen.' He stood up and go dressed himself. Both of us sitting on the couch fully clothed I take is hands.

'To start I would like you to know I wish I had never started this lie. I've hurt so many people but it started and I just didn't know how to get out. Also on the other hand I needed to do it, I did it for my family. Charles David is my ex husband, I was married right out of college I worked for a few years before I got pregnant and had my daughter... Caitlin.' Barley making eye contact but with the words started coming out I knew it was time for this lie to end.

'The one you baby sat for? She was your daughter.' He said shocked. I was shocked he remembered I think I only mentioned her name once.

'Yes and Charles that was 18 years ago. Caitlin is in college. And I'm not 27 I'm 41.' I said embarrassed and relieved.

'Oh shhit... I don't even know what to say.' He looked her up and down trying to make sense of what she'd said.

'Caitlin was in her final year of school and doing an exchange in India last year. She needed money for tuition. And David my ex-husband had gambled away her college money and bought a boat with our savings. I needed a job to support her. It was maggies crazy idea, we where in a bar in Brooklyn having a few drinks when josh hit on me thinking I was 26. Maggie had this crazy idea that it would work and get me a job in publishing which I kept getting shut down from because of my age. And to my surprises it worked.'

'The deciding decade.' He whispered. 'Was that about you?'

'Yes. I was being blackmailed by a woman I worked with at randomhouse before I had Caitlin. She told me to give up the book or she would tell Dr Wray. I went to speak to her and told her everything. She said she would give us the book if I would do a case study. Which I did.' I explained. After a long pause he finally spoke.

'Wow. In some ways in not surprised you have always seemed old for your age. But I never expected this... I don't know what to say.' He said. He looked confused and fidgety. I decided he needed some time.

'I'll give you some space to think about what this means.' I move to leave his office.

'Stop... how are you getting back home?' He asked concerned probably thinking about how late it is.

'Subway I guess.'

'Let me order you a car.' He offered.

'That's not necessary Charles. Remember I am a grown woman.' I say with a slight smile.

'I will worry and at the moment I've got enough on my mind.' He admits.

'Okay I'll grab my things and we can go down together.' Leaving the room I go to my desk and check my phone only one message from Maggie asking if I was going to be home and wanting some dinner. I respond saying I'll be home soon. It's almost 11 and I haven't eaten. He is so distracting. Coming out of his office we walk to the elevator. It didn't take long to arrive. His silence was making me worried after all our declarations today. It felt off.

'Are you okay?' I ask with concern.

'Liza, I don't know what to think. I'm okay I just need some time to think.' He said in a quiet voice.

Not saying anything else just leaving him to his thoughts. When we walked to the curb there where two black suvs waiting he opened the door for me to get in but as I went to get in he moved in front of me and kissed me. Not a long kiss but a goodnight kiss. 'Goodnight Liza, I'll see you tomorrow.'

'Goodnight Charles' I said all breathy, and got in. Closing the door behind me and the car was off leaving him standing on the sidewalks.


	4. Chapter 4

I woke up in a fluster, flashbacks of last nights events replaying over and over again in my head. The most restless sleep I've ever had, full of constant worry that I've done the wrong thing. I roll over and look at my phone to see Charles has messaged me. * I can't even seem to your you out of my dreams.*

Maybe there's a chance of this working out I draft a quick reply. * I hope it was a good dream.* I go get in the shower eager to see him even at work. By the time I'm ready to leave Maggie is up and hands me a coffee.

'Maggie... something happened last night.' I say trying to hide my happiness.

'What, Liza! You and Charles.' It's like a sexy six sense with her.

'Yes. How did you know?' I ask shocked at her spot on guess.

'You have sex face. To happy' she said with a knowing grin. 'Tell me everything!'

'Okay so yesterday Kelsey screwed up and we lost Edward ll Moore, Charles got furious and yelled at her. I went into confront him about how it was unfair. He then argued with me. And before I knew it he said. ' I don't know why your dating a 40 something guy in publishing who isn't me.' I pause at her expression. 'Being me and needing Time to think I left and Dianna needed lunch picked up as I was in the elevator Charles stoped it. I fainted Maggie! Twice. Once in the lift and then once in his arms! I was so embarrassed!'

'You fainted?! Why?'

'I haven't eaten, I was shaken for him throwing his feelings at me and then he touched me and whispered in my ear... the black.'

'Wow, you you feeling okay?' She said worried.

'Yes in fine, he then took me to lunch and we talked he wanted to take me to dinner but well... we never made it.'

'How was it?' She preyed.

'The best I've ever had... ever.' I flush remembering. 'I'll tell you more later. I've got to head to work.' Taking a gulp of my coffee I grab my bag and head out the door.

Arriving at my favourite breakfast place I order a cup and some French toast and as I do i recall the memory of Charles bumping into me hear months ago, and I wonder did he have feelings for me then. Trying to imagine what thing will be at work today. how will he act, he said he would forgive me. But I need to talk Kelsey, first thing. The bell rings as someone enters the cafe, I subconsciously look up and see Charles standing there all handsome in his dark suit. My anxiety sky rockets, his broad grin helps me relax.

'I was hoping I would catch you here.' Sitting down and ordering himself a cup of coffee and French toast.

'Morning charles' I say with a big smile.

'I've had some time to think and I don't want this to change us. Age is just a number and it just brings you closer to mine. I think it would be hypocritical if I did have an issue with it.' He says.

'And millennial?' I question.

'I don't think millennial would have done half as well if you hadn't been working with Kelsey. So I don't have any issues' leaning over he surprises me with a kiss. 'I have been wanting to do that since I watched you drive away last night.'

'I'm going to tell Kelsey about us.' I admit in a burst. 'She knows I'm 40 and didn't take it to well, that's why we where arguing a few months ago. She asked me not to tell you but we'll after last night I couldn't keep denying my feelings. I don't want to keep lying to the people I love.'

He looked worried but after a few silent seconds said 'okay, you do what you have to. But I feel like it would be best to keep it from Dianna for a while until we figure out the best way to break it to her.'

With a sigh of relief I flash him a smile and we both sit there in silence finishing our breakfast.

We walk to work together talking about what our days will entail and before we know it we are back in the elevator. He smiles and runs his hand down my back, I take a deep breath and hold. Before giving him my best _come get it look_. He's shocked and has to look away. Arriving on our floor I make my way to Kelsey's office trying to ignore him as he walks ahead of me to his office. 'Morning Kelsey.'

'Have you spoken to Charles this morning?' She says in a panic.

'Yeah why?' I reply.

'Really Liza, he was furious yesterday. I'm so worried I'm going to get fired. I can't loose this job it's everything to me.' She rambles.

'He seemed okay, I think things will be fine. But you just need to put your head down and try to get some big authors to make up the loss of Edward.' I suggest.

'Okay well maybe we'll find something at pitchfest.' She said sarcastically.

'Maybe... Kelsey I need to tell you something.' I say awkwardly

'What is it Liza?' She says with a worried look. I turn around and shut the door.

'Months ago when I was working in the department store in New Jersey, when Charles found me he kissed me...' I say

'He what!.. Did you like it?' He says stunned.

'Hold on there's a lot more... he kissed me and then asked me to have a drink but I didn't go because of the whole drunk Dianna situation. And he got defensive and sort of blew me off. But we kept having these moments, there is this chemistry between us. Anyway it wasn't until the Hamptons where we kissed and we'll josh saw.' I continued

'That's why he didn't propose?' She asked with a look of scandal on her fauve eagerly awaiting more gossip.

'Yes, anyway there has been more and more tension with Charles since but he hasn't acted on it until yesterday. He saw me out meeting with that editor from Macmillan, Jay. He got jealous and sort of yelled his feeling at me yesterday.' I explained

'Did you tell him?' She asked worriedly.

'I did, I'm sorry Kelsey I had to. I have such strong feelings for him and we have so much in common. We talked all night and then I eventually told him. He's okay I asked about Millennial and he has no issues with me being involved still.'

'It's okay Liza. I've seen the chemistry between you too. I have for awhile, and he is mighty handsome. I'm happy things worked out when you told him for your sake and mine.' She declared and she came over and hugged me. 'Now should we head over to pitchfest?

'Okay give me 20 minutes, I have to check in with Dianna.'

I walk sat Dianna's office and she isn't anywhere to be seen. So I go to let Charles know I'm leaving and hopping he wants to do something later. I knock 3 times 'come in.' He says gruffly. Before brightening once he sees it's me. 'How's things go with Kelsey?'

'Really well she terrified of you at the moment but she took my news well. She happy to keep things between us.' I say honestly.

'That's good, one less worry. After last night I completely forgot about this whole Edward situation.' He says looking defeated. 'It doesn't help that I'm so distracted thinking about what happened over there.' He gestures to the couch.

'Well I hope things pick up. Maybe I'll get lucky at pitchfest.' I say with an embarrassed laugh.

'Doubtful. But good luck, have fun.' He says

'See you later.' I can't help but hear the disappointment in my voice as he dismisses me with out a promise of seeing each other later.

I meet Kelsey in her office and we head off to pitchfest.


	5. Chapter 5

**I have taken some of the script of where Liza meets Pauline because I love how the writers introduced her and you have to sit for the bomb to explode when Liza shares that information with Charles.**

Pitchfest is a small conference room in a large hotel near time square . Kelsey and I go and check our selves in and someone shows us to our millennial table. There is a small like of people waiting nervously in the corner of the room.

'Look at them... ughhhh this is going to be painful.' Kelsey says.

'Well let's hope for the next LL Moore.'

She rolls her eyes at me. 'I'm still weirded out about this whole Charles situation. How did this all happen?'

But before I can answer someone sits down to start here pitch. One after the other they just get worse and worse.

'I need coffee. You?' Kelsey asked getting up.

'Yes please.' I respond sleepily. A blond woman sits down in front of me. Looking up I realise she is older than most of the women we've seen today. She reaches her hand out to shake mine.

'Hi I'm Pauline.' She introduces her self.

'Liza.' I return with a smile. 'When you're ready.'

'Okay, um, well my book is kind of "Primates of Park Avenue" meets Nora Ephron's "Heartburn.' She explains.

'You had me at "Heartburn.' I admit, I'm actually think this could be a decent pitch.

'Oh, good. Creative Writing 101: Write what you know. I got married, had kids, did the things you're meant to do. And I also sort of let my husband steer the ship, which moored us on the Upper East Side, and, whoa, was I out of my depth. Pickups, drop-offs, hosting and attending charity events. I had no time to work, even freelance. So before I knew it, I just lost sight of who I was as a writer, as a woman. Ugh, it's gonna sound selfish and ungrateful, but married life stifled me. I just needed to escape. I mean, I was losing it. I just needed a break. I needed a little .' She finally takes a breath she seems so nervous and excited at the same time.

'Marriage vacation.' I say finishing her sentence.

'Yes, you get it. You totally get it.' She looks relieved 'But is it too heavy for Millennial? I mean, I read about you guys in "EW"'s "29 under 29," so I know you skew a lot younger. Would it be more of an Empirical book?' She says looking a little squeamish.

'You know, actually, I think it could appeal to Millennial readers as a cautionary tale you know, understand what marriage is, go in with eyes open.' I know i wouldn't change a thing because I wouldn't have Caitlin but it's not the life I would wish for her.

'Oh, I love that take. Look, it's just a work in progress. I don't even have a title yet. But could I email you some chapters?' She asks slyly.

'Yeah, I please. Please do. I would love that.' I really think that this could be a great book to help millennial expand.

'Thank you.' She says excitedly.

'It's so nice to meet you.' I say

'Good luck with all these people.' She says pointing at all the other aspiring authors.

Kelsey comes back with our coffees.

'You just missed it, I think we found a book that might help out with this whole Edward situation.' I say excitedly.

'Really! What's it about!'

'A woman who feels trapped in her marriage and decides to take a vacation from her family.' I explain.

'Seems a bit of a mom book.'

'Maybe, she's sending me the chapters so I'll have a ready and let you know.'

The rest of the day drags on and on. My mind fixated on the fact Charles knows, every time I think about him I feel sick. But I just want him to be okay with it. But maybe he had it in his head that a 26 year old liked him, maybe it's the excitement of the relationship that had him interested. I don't want him this to change his opinion of me. Finally we are aloud to leave and we start head back to the office.

'I need a drink.' Declares Kelsey.

'Me to, that was a long day.' I agree. We change corse and head over to the bar down the street. Maybe some girl time with Kelsey might get my mind off the fact Charles hasn't called. I did get a few messages from jay asking about pitch fest. I can tell that he is keen on me but I don't want to lead him on knowing my feelings are with Charles.

We find a booth near the back of the bar and both order a margarita. 'So how did this thing with Charles even start?' Kelsey asks as the waitress brings our drinks over. Well that's not going to keep my mind off him.

'I don't know really. I guess there has always been some sort of connection but nothing really started until he kissed me at the department store.' I confess

'He was devastated when he found out you quit. He called every publisher in New York to try find you. No I see why.' She says

'Can we talk about something else? How's things with you and zane?' I ask to try and focus the attention on her.

'OMG don't even go there. He hast stopped messaging me. I don't care what he has to say. I'm done.' She continues. And from then on my mind fades from Charles as Kelsey explains her love life or lack there of and that she's taking a break from men for awhile.

I check my phone for the time it's 6pm and see that I have a email from Pauline. I'm so eager to read these chapters I suggest we head back to work, Kelsey hesitantly agrees. Picking up my things from my desk I try to ignore the pull to go see if Charles is still in the office, Diana has already left. I pop my head into Kelsey's office 'I'm heading home.' I say.

'Okay I'll see you tomorrow night for dinner with Lauren and Maggie? I've got a few things to do before I leave.' She questions.

'Okay see you then.' I say with a wave and a smile.

I enter the lift and I didn't see him coming. The door of the life stopped, Charles hand appearing out of nowhere. 'Hello.' He's says calmly entering the lift.

'It seems to be you thing, stopping lifts.' I say with shy smile.

'I guess.' He says with a smile.

We ride down in silence, as the tension builds I turn to look at him as our eyes connect he kissed me. And the next thing I know I'm up agains the wall of the elevator, wrapped in his passionate embrace. It's not until the elevator pings that we separate panting. Three people enter the lift. Looking down I notice that he is still holding my hand and I smile. He looks at me and smiles. The elevator pings again and four more people enter the lift which forces him to let go of my hand and separates us. When we arrive on the ground floor I head towards the subway not knowing what it is he wants from me.

'Liza please wait.' He says grabbing my arm and spinning me around. 'I need to talk to you.'

'Okay, but I need to get home.' I say for some reason even though it's not true. Maggies out tonight.

'Okay we'll let me take you?' He insists

'You don't even live remotely in that direction Charles.' I scough

'Lisa, I need to be with you, we need to talk.' He admits.

'Okay.' I relent and he leads me over to his town car and I get in first. 'What did you want to talk about?'

'Us Liza, you and me. I still want something between us you're all I've thought about all day. I have been trying to figure out if this lie affects me and I don't think it does in a negative way at all.' He declares

'So you didn't have some fantasy of dating a younger woman?' I ask honestly.

'Well technically you're still younger than me. But no, that was one of the things I was worried about before. Now I feel like we are on the same page. Liza I don't know if you feel the same way but I feel like we connect I don't know if I've ever connected with anyone like I have with you.' He says embarrassed of how sappy he sounds.

'Yes I have felt it. Since the first time we met Charles. I wanted you to ask me to stay that night I baby sat, I felt something and I thought you did too.' I admit and not until the words are out of my mouth do I realise that they are true, I wanted him then.

'Oh I did, the way you where with the girls the wisdom in your words. It took everything I had.' He says and leans over to kiss me and like that we are like two teenagers in the back of the car. My hands in his hair his moving down my body and next thing I know I'm on is lap.

It's not until we pull up at my apartment the we stop and I say. 'Well this is me.' I move off of his Lap a little embarrassed.

'Okay then. *cough* goodnight Liza.'

'Did you want to come up for a drink?' I don't know where my sudden confidence is coming from but knowing I'm not ready to say goodnight.

'Are you sure? I'm not keeping you from anything?' He asks obvious that he feels the same.

'No, come in. I take his hand and led him up.


End file.
